"Future Shoes" by Michael Finley

For use: Friday, October 13, 2000 and thereafter

Future Shoes: "PC Helper"

by Michael Finley

Opening the PC Helper e-mailbox Thursday morning, I found these questions from readers:

From felton93@sitek.net, a message entitled, "IF YOUR NOT EARNING $100K+ DELETE NOW PLEASE DELETE NOW!!!!!!" Felton 93 then says, "Are you a thinker? Are you capable of recognizing a once in a lifetime opportunity when it's looking right at you? Countless others have missed their shot. Don't look back years later and wish you made the move. If you are skeptical that's OK but don't let that stop you from getting all the information you need." He concludes by saying, "DROP THE MOUSE AND CALL 415-273-6123."

Thanks for the letter, Felton. But I'm afraid you never got to the point about how I could help you with your PC setup. I want to call the number, but I need my editor's OK on long distance calls.

OK then, next letter is from bonnie8734e@hotmail.com. In a letter she calls "RE: FWD: CCheck this out! (70280)" she writes: <HTML> YOU CAN HAVE A MASTERCARD CARD WITH GUARANTEED* INSTANT ONLINE APPROVAL! IF: You are a U.S. Citizen At Least 18 Years Old And You Have a Valid Checking Account NO CREDIT CHECK REQUIRED!

Great hearing from you, bonnie. I knew a bonnie8734f once, in Chicago -- I don’t suppose? But anyhoo, something is funny with your message, I see all kinds of weird characters in it and can’t quite make out the nature of your PC problem. Maybe it's all those brackets and stuff? If so, it's probably a virus, which you can easily fix by going to the DOS Line and running the standard C:\delete *.* command. Works like a charm -- good luck!

Next is a inquiry from plain old "Sam" at cd7431@yahoo.com. Sam tells a story about "a parent of a 15 year old who finds $71,000 cash in his closet."

Sam, you don’t have to hide behind that dodge. I can tell the "parent" is really you. I'm a little unsure from your wording who found the $71,000, your son or you. You know, it could be from product rebates -- there are some great deals out there, especially at Product City (see your Yellow Pages for directions to a store near you). But if I were you I’d look into Sam's lifestyle, just to be on the safe side. Consider a wholesome computer game, like Pimlico Software's "Totally Tiddlywinks" ($49.95, 1-800-TIDDLYW), to get him relaxed and on the right track.

Finally, a thoughtful message from john86868@yahoo.com, titled simply "83 Ways." "No hard sell," john86868 begins, "Just the facts. I'm selling a report that called "83 Ways To Make and Save You Money". Below are the subject headings, so you can see that I'm offering quite a lot of information for the price. The report costs $20.00, the cost of taking your family out to dinner. The information in this report could be worth thousands. Send check, money order, or cash to: John Lutheran, P.O. Box 33555, San Diego, California 92163-3555. When I receive your order I will email you "83 Ways". So include your email address. Please, type it, if possible."

This is great, John, but I think you misunderstand the nature of the PC Helper mailbox. How it works is, you describe your technical problem to me, and I help you solve it. You never quite say what your problem is. And frankly -- and as I look back I see this is true for several of the other writers this week as well -- your letter seems to have nothing to do with PC problems. If you want to try again, and tell me what the problem is, I'll try helping you. PS, my check is in the mail.

That's all for this week, folks. But keep those letters coming in, and maybe next week PC Helper can help you with your PC!

To visit Mike, go to http://mfinley.com, or write him at mfinley@mfinley.com.

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